Pregnant in America

www.pregnantinamerica.com

This looks like an excellent documentary coming soon. The trailer was intriguing.
Plus, there's one great Portishead song playing in the background.

Prayers for Margaret

Prayers for my sweet mother-in-law, Margaret who is going in Tuesday for an operation to remove cancer from her breast. It is a small area, and she'll have 6 weeks of radiation treatment. She's very stoic and sensible. She doesn't freely emote but just like her son (my husband) that doesn't mean she's not feeling what an emoting person feels. Its hard for me to remember that sometimes.

When Derek, Margaret's husband lay dying in his own bed at home 5 years ago, she explained to me how it felt to be her in that moment. She said that even though she's grown older, heavier, etc. on the inside everyone still feels 21 when they envision themselves. That when she looked at her dying, emaciated husband she saw him as the handsome, confident, cheeky man he was when she fell in love with him.
As I've grown older, I've noticed the same thing. Greg has started letting a beard grow the past few weeks because he works outside and it's been so damn cold. The beard helps protect against windburn. It was shocking to see how much of his beard is gray! But when I look at him, I see him as I did when I met him~ me 21, he 24. I touch him and smell him and it's all the same as it was 12 years ago.

I posted the pictures of Margaret when she got married to Derek because she's a lovely person at any age. But last night as I lay in bed I kept remembering that conversation we had when Derek was dying. We were alone in the house for hours before anyone else showed up. It's quite a memorable day for me on so many levels. But anyway, the pictures are to celebrate her as she sees herself from the inside. Young, healthy, beautiful and vibrant.
We all believe this cancer is small potatoes and she'll come through with flying colors. So any good thoughts would be appreciated to add momentum to the success of her surgery and following treatment.

Here's to lovely Margaret, in all of her Mod 60's stylish ways and today as the funny, sweet woman who makes us laugh, cooks terrible food and knits beautiful things for our children!

our current recipe for liking each other again

So my 2007 has been all right thus far.
I've made up my mind to do tings a little differently.
Greg and I have seemed to have figured out how really communicate and have each other on our radars again. This takes time and energy, but like most things, becomes effortless when the rewards start coming in.
We:
1. make sure we talk every morning before we start our day. And this does not mean talking about plans for our day, plans for our future, money, or work/chores/etc. This means telling a little story. Describing a dream you just woke from. Discussing how a certain stretch really opened up your tight lower back and other such non-stressful things.
2. we make sure to talk and cuddle in bed at night once the kids are asleep. this is much easier now that little E prefers to sleep in his own bed in S's room. after 8 years of co-sleeping, and 12 years of marriage, WE'VE GOT OUR BED BACK and WE'RE LOVING IT. this alone is enough to keep me from having another baby anytime soon.
3. we're making dates a reality.
4. we're making family time a reality. and this isn't stressful outings. this is "Hey what do you guys wanna do?" and then we all discuss and figure that out.
5. we're taking equal time with the kids and not escalating bad days by reacting to their moods in a negative way.

And personally,
I'm trying to pray every morning before I get out of bed. Generally, just a basic, but sincere prayer of thanks for all we have, for a good night's sleep, etc. and then a prayer for guidance and being grounded for the day. not getting myself into a tizzy over dumb shit and not being over-cynical. (I was telling Greg that one can be humorous without being cycnical~ cynicism generally stems from fear and embarrassment it seems)
I'm working out every day. Or at least 5-6 days a week. I stayed up late last night with Greg and was too tired to work out this morning. However, I am reminded of how good I feel when I actually do get up and just go. No dumb excuses. I'm wide awake all day and my stress is way down.
Also, since I'm doing vinyasa and also pilates, I feel 2 inches taller for the rest of the day after I finish. A nice bonus. Much more aware of my body mechanics again.
Oh, and we both quit caffeine. And even though I didn't drink much to begin with (unless at a birth all night), I've definitely noticed my inner neurotic worrier has chilled out and shut up. I'm liking that.

We had a lovely dinner this evening for Valentines Day. It was very expensive but very good and I've just reached a point where I say to myself, enjoy this day. Enjoy this meal. You're gonna die some day and there's no sense in denying yourself some indulgent things now and then.
So, I ordered a $7 martini (that was delicious!) and our meal was very pricey, but wonderful!
And I think I'm very turned on to martini's. I've been such a beer drinker. Good beer, mind you, but beer. I've always loved vodka too, but it seems my Polish blood loves it a little too much and it goes down too well, too quick. So I typically don't allow myself to drink it anymore out of fear. But a martini~ it was heavenly.
At first I was bummed that I had this wee glass in front of me and not a big mug of dark, rich beer. But I quickly realized that little glass packed a punch and one could sip it slowly and enjoy it more than a mug of beer!
I'll have to try that again sometime!

The other good part of walking into that restaurant tonight was that they were playing a great compilation of mostly 80s songs. As soon as we walked in Blondie's "Dreaming" came on. One of my favorite songs, and the one I have always said was my song for Greg. I met him in a restaurant, and that is the first line of the song.
My eyes got big and I said, "Oh my God! Listen! It's Blondie! It's Dreaming! This dinner was meant to be!"
Just one of those moments.

Ah, happy sigh.

A good night. Even if followed by cleaning the bank. Talked on the phone to T the whole time. Love it.

Off to bed. Greg fell asleep with the kids but I've had orders to wake him up and drag him to our bed when I got home.
Of course!

2 inches of SNOW DAY?

Well, they canceled school. My girl is going to be pissed. No Valentines Day party on Valentines day?! Not going to go over well in this house.

And it's so ridiculous. There wasn't even that much snow. More big winds that made big drifts every where. It's funny because my driveway is actually clear now. More than it was yesterday BEFORE the snow. Thank you, Big Wind. No I don't have to shovel it.
And my kind neighbor shoveled our sidewalk in front of our house the day before, so that's done. I'm the type of shoveler that only shovels one shovel-wide lane down the sidewalk as opposed to clearing it side to side, completely. Every year my good neighbor does his walk completely.
One year we were both out shoveling (me done in 5 minutes, him in 30), and I said:
K, you are SUCH a good citizen! Look at that beautiful sidewalk!
and he replied: Naaah, I'm just anal retentive.
And I think he is, to some degree. He's the type to mow his lawn every Saturday regardless of whether it needs it. He's trained his dog to poo in one small area of the yard, as opposed to our Agnes dumping where ever she pleased. (I must say, that Agnes was first raised in our basement apartment before moving to this house. And the poor girl had to stand in a rocky driveway attached to a chain outside our door for a poo. No bushes, no trees. Just railroad rock driveway and no privacy. I was so happy for her to have a whole, green backyard that I let her go where ever when we moved here... as if I would ever have the patience or brain cells to "train" her to poo in one spot.)

The streets are all clear here. The trucks have plowed and salted. Although I know rich Ann Arbor won't because they never do, and that' why school is closed.
It's really dumb. It was really only a couple inches of snow. You'd think we were living in Georgia and were hit with a surprise snow fall.
But this is MICHIGAN folks! It's supposed to snow here!

I just found out yesterday that the Bust website has free ecards and they are hilarious. I sent one to Greg for V-Day that made me laugh so hard! If you're not squeamish and have a wry sense of humor, check it out.

Off to figure out just what the heck I 'm gonna do with these kids today.

pre-V day

I don't like the new blogger. My picture is all numbers and letters and slashes and one just hopes that damn thing comes up when you hit PUBLISH.

We've had a laid back, but cold day. Watched K's kids for repayment of her watching E yesterday while I did a prenatal with a new client. That's right, now have 3 clients. Woohoo!
In addition to those 3, I have one who seems to like me butis trying to figure out money. Another I have a consult with (but have a gut feeling they won't hire me) and a consult with a couple this weekend who are not pregnant but are trying to conceive.
Man, if this high volume keeps up, I'll be forced to quit my job. (crosses fingers)

Actually, I really love my senior folk. When he's not being OCD and making me want to eat my own head, he's sweet and the job itself is easy-peasy. No worse than using the utmost patience with children. That sounds terribly condescending. I don't mean he's like a toddler, (okay sometimes he really IS like a toddler...) but usually it's good conversation and constant reminders of taking pills, checking sugar, taking insulin, checking catheter bag, etc.
Last night I finished copying (enlarging and making 2-sided) the paperback I started last Friday. Except this time Mr. Senior Guy stayed home and I got to go out alone! I felt like a newly-driving teenager being sent for a gallon of milk alone. I called Tammy on my way because she lives very near to Kinko's. I was there for 2.5 hours when I finally finished. Tammy came up with little baby M and we got hot drinks at the nearby cafe. To alleviate my guilt of hanging with a friend while on the clock, I continued to slide the newly copied pages into their individual plastic sleeves and place them in their special plastic binder notebook.

We're supposed to get a ton of snow. The news and weather always makes any yucky weather sound like it is going to be record-breaking nuts. 4-8 inches of snow. Snow supposed to start this afternoon and go on til morning. S will be so disappointed if her school is closed and she has to miss her Valentines party.
Like a good mom, I did something I rarely do: asked what I could bring to the school party. Since it's a modern day charter school (and we love it for its many unigue qualities), they get all uptight about food. And I'm not talking peanut allergies. They would "really appreciate no or low-sugar snacks". I can understand that they don't want the kids all cranked on sugar, but school parties are *supposed* to be full of sugar. I don't recall eating organic carrot sticks with gluten-free cookies when I was growing up.
And I hate when people get all elitist about food. I preach nutrition to my clients and my own family, but chocolate warms the soul and feeds the spirit. All things in moderation, whether its organic quinoa or Reese's peanut butter cups.
At any rate, I offered to bring "juice", thinking as I said it that would mean a dreaded trip to Whole Paycheck for some bottle $7 organic juice.
But since I'm a one-stop shopper, AND I needed rock salt, we went to Target.
Those kids will be drinking the Target brand of red cranberry Italian soda. Red for V-Day (#5 red?), juice-esque, cheap, and most importantly, tasty.
So there (sticking out tongue, as if my small-scale personal anarchy matter .02)

Greg was looking at rubber car mats for his Audi. Greg is my exact polar opposite when it comes to shopping. He ALWAYS finds the most expensive item, while I'm searching for something cheap and perhaps even "gently used".
I stumbled into the office this morning to find him looking at rubber car mats for $120!My eyes quickly searched the desk for his wallet just in case he was dumb enough to charge them. Nope, phew. In relief, I offered my supportive advice: "Dude, you better get your ass to Murrays for some $30 car mats!"
And then I fell into my meditative routine of vinyasa yoga in front of the space heater.

Well, while at Target, I chanced upon some Rubbermaid car mats for $19.98! Bought them for my sweetheart and taped a big hand-made heart to them that says LOVE.
One stop shopping, see?
And painfully conscientious of the needs of those in my family. Eamon received diapers.
I suppose the rock salt was for me.

Avoiding study

I'm avoiding watching a DVD classroom on human anatomy and physiology. It's so dry, and the man doctor conducting the lecture say clitoris like CLY-toris. Cly rhyming with sky. Makes me crazy. He also explains all female parts as being analog to male parts.
As in: "The hairy labia majora is the analog to the male scrotum."
I really don't appreciate our parts being compared to male parts. We are female and we are unique.

And speaking of annoying male doctors. My good friend K was doing doula support at a hospital birth last week. The woman's male OB suggested she do nipple stimulation (good, right?) with a frickin' DRY HAND TOWEL!! WTF? Seriously, doing nipple stim with your finger tips can get you sore after a while. I couldn't believe the stupidity of that advice. I told K she should've told the doctor to give himself a hand-job with a dry towel and see how productive that is for him!


In other news, we went to Sesame Street Live last night and we were so lucky! Because not many people know about the PBS great prices, it was not very crowded. So instead of sitting in nose-bleed seats, we were in row F on the main floor, dead center! For 40 bucks! AND, we received free goody bags, and 4 coupons for free drinks and a coupon for free popcorn! Seriously a bargain. I was so happy to be there with Greg in tow (who in the past would've refused to come or would've come and been pissy the entire time. But now, my new decaf husband is a saint!), and to see the kid's faces totally light up in that beautiful old theater! I love Detroit.
It was all totally worth spending money we did not have, and taking a night off work.
A wonderful time!

I just got hired by a sweet woman due in August. I was at a previous birth of hers while apprenticing. It's a very strange feeling being hired by a past client from someone else's practice. I also had a lovely, lengthy conversation with another woman due this fall. She's working on her husband apparently and is supposed to call back.
And then I have a consult in Detroit with a couple who I doubt will hire me. Just a hunch from the quickest phone call to set up an appointment time. Maybe I'm wrong, but these hunches usually prove right.
I'm seeing a trend in the people who hire me versus the people who do not. It's been interesting because those who do all kind of have the same something in common. Can't quite name it, but it's there. And the people I consult with who do not hire me, well like I said, I can usually tell just by talking to them on the phone.

I have to work tonight. I think I'll be spending hours at Kinko's copying and enlarging an old paperback for Mr. Senior Guy. It takes forever and he's a perfectionist and I'm so "good enough" that it makes for an interesting sight, I'm sure. First we enlarge all the pages (After making sure that they're all even on the page. Don't forget that the margin is different on the front than it is on the back of the page. So I have to measure and mark the copier by a mere centimeter or two to make sure front and back come out the same on the enlarged page). Then, I print them on both sides so that it will read like a book. But before I do that, I have to use the white out tape to make sure the dark edges of the pages are covered before I make a final copy. Once home (hours later) I have to put them all in plastic sleeves and put them into a notebook to never be looked at again. The last book took about 4 hours and was only 100 pages. This particular book is 360 pages.
SSSSSIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH


But hell, if that's all I've got to complain about....
No, I am very happy.

BTW, the zine is moving like hotcakes. We've sent out many complementary issues and are receiving good reviews. Now we just need people to SUBSCRIBE so that we can continue with it!

Found our way to Sesame Street!

That's right. Our local PBS station is doing its fund drive and were offering Sesame Street Live tickets for a far cheaper price. Granted, they're nose-bleed seats, but so were the ones I checked on for 100 buckaroos. These were only $40, PLUS we get a PBS goody bag and one free popcorn.
Can't wait to take the kids tomorrow night.

In other very worrisome and sad news, we just found out my husband's mother has breast cancer. A very small lump that is one of the "good" kinds to have (?). More info to come. She was very English in telling the news. That very "Oooo, don't worry about me, love. Tell me about your day!" WHAT?!
Prayers for her, please.

can you tell me how to (pay) to get to Sesame Street?

I'm slightly disappointed. Every year since I've been a Mama, I've wanted to take my kids to see Sesame Street Live which comes to the Fox Theater in Detroit every February. I used to go with my sister and her boys before I was even married. It's a lot of fun and the kids love it. And every year we are just too broke to justify spending that money (or rather, putting it on a credit card). But this year I thought, screw the high heating bills, screw all we've spent on the living room and new tags for the cars. We're going!!
But damn! For sort of crappy seats in the mezzanine, it'd cost us $111 (plus more for parking) for 4 tickets.
It's silly but I'm feeling heartbroken about it. I know our kids love us and don't know if they're missing out (and I realize they are not), but on the other hand, it would be so pleasurable to seem them shriek with joy over big, goofy, Sesame Street characters dancing on stage in that beautiful theater.
Grrr. Stupid Tickemaster. So much money. Don't know why I even looked.
We'll have to do something else fun.

Greg had brought up taking them to the Detroit Science museum, but that too would cost us about $100 to see the museum and the really cool exhibition they've got right now.

Middle of winter with nothing to do. Sick of being inside but too cold to do free, fun things outside. (Skiing is for rich people, folks!)

Sorry for being so pissy.
Oh well. Off to fold laundry while watching a classroom DVD on anatomy.