Thursday, September 27, 2007

Wish I had a Cubicle

I finally broke down and bought the Microsoft package yesterday so that I could make a Power Point presentation on home birth midwifery. I've been a woman obsessed since I've installed it. Fortunately, little E fell asleep at a very early 6pm and stayed asleep. S went to bed a little later than usual because I let her watch TV in exchange for leaving me along while I tried to formulate a presentation. Then I stayed up too late (a pathetic 11pm here), and today I've come down with the cold that's been trying to nab me for a week.
I feel like crap. I've got to pick up S and her friend from school~ hang out an extra 15 minutes until the other girl's mom gets there. Tomorrow they don't have school. But somehow I said I'd watch two friends at EIGHT IN THE MORNING. Silly me, crabby me. Just started my period and have a low-grade fever Me.
I will be watching one of the girls until noon. The other will be staying the night. That is a long time with someone else's kid. But I cannot complain. I'm dropping them both off at an overnight Brownie camp at 8am Saturday and don't have to pick S up until noon on Sunday.

I bought table space at this weekend's Red Tent event ala Birth Network. Must get a card table for that. I'm regretting signing up now. Don't want to spend 5 hours feeding meter and meekly smiling at the public. Nothing like menstruating to make me feel like a nervous, anxious 13 year old girl. With a low-grade fever.

Off to pick up my lovely child who will pester me to pack her camping backpack as soon as she gets home despite not leaving for another 36 hours.

Monday, September 24, 2007

Happy Anxious Birthday

My husband woke me up this morning to tell me Happy Birthday. Very sweet. I was dreaming and felt very disconcerted. My dream was that I had been up all night with a woman in labor, who even began to push, but then her labor completely stopped. Her house was a huge mess and I kept flinging piles of dirty socks and toys and dirty plates off of me as I sat on her floor. She turned to me and said she was taking this break in contractions and that I could go home, she'd call me when things picked up again.
So I left and stopped by my daughter's school feeling hectic because I was really late picking her up. Then I got mad because the teacher said S was staying late with some other kids and I could come back in 2 hours.
I came home and realized I had a vial of frozen sperm in my freezer and I was trying to make a kit so my neighbor who wants a baby could have it. I was wondering if she'd want me to insert it, or if that would be too weird.
Also at home my dad called me and asked me to come over and help paint his living room. I agreed and started getting little E ready for the drive out there, thinking G could get S from school. Then my MIL came in all happy, telling us she wanted to go shopping, but first a cup of tea since she was tired from the long drive here.
I felt completely overwhelmed. I tried to tell my MIL that I needed to help my dad paint and she didn't look happy. She wanted to surprise us with a visit. I was trying to think how I could make everyone happy, that I didn't want to disappoint ANYONE.
Not to mention, I felt the heaviness of waiting for someone's labor to pick up again.

Damn, have I got issues OR WHAT?

SO I'm trying to let it go, relax. Enjoy my day. I have two postpartum visits this morning. S has dance at 6 and G wants to take me out for a beer after that.

I want to climb back into my bed with a book and hide from the world today. So not like me.

On a good note, yesterday my dad took my sister, myself and the kids out for breakfast. And then for dinner, me, G and the kids ate at my favorite Indian restaurant (for a lot of money which is causing my guilty buyer's remorse this morning). It was fabulous though and we had such a good time.

I'm off now. I need to shower and to wake up the kids to take S to school, etc. And I'm getting off to a late by 15 minutes start.


I'm unable to shake it. I feel stressed about money, things I should be doing, things people are expecting me to do, etc.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

PUSHED wide awake

I've just started reading the book PUSHED
by Jennifer Block. I think I might only be 50-60 pages into it. It's reiterating what any natural birth enthusiast knows about modern-day obstetrics, but it's still making me fume to read quote after quote of money-driven, fear-based MDs try to justify the shit they put women through. Having said that, they do have my sympathy. What a fucked up way to practice...this American way of medicine.
So now I'm up, trying to calm my brain a little so that I can fall asleep without having hospital birth dreams (I had one last night after reading a handful of PUSHED pages...)

Back to Terry Pratchett for a good night's sleep.

Monday, September 17, 2007

THE Tome and Chickens




Oooo, I finally got it. That crazy-huge tome of Anne Frye's. It looks like it should contain ancient Hobbit secrets and instructions on how to find the Holy Grail.
I've been coveting this book since it came out a 2 years ago. I bought it from a friend who has pulled out of birth work.
It's visually as daunting as NARM's Portfolio Evaluation Process.

We had a decent weekend. Took my motorcycle to my MIL's for the winter and picked up the deep freezer that hasn't been plugged in for 5+ years. Gotta get ready for the chickens. My husband works with a guy who is friends with another guy who is a good farmer, a slacker, and a pothead. Apparently he hasn't the slightest inclination to get a regular job, but he's great with animals, even if he is stoned half the time. We bought in on a batch of 60 chicks, have helped to buy their food, and build their shelter and soon they will be ready to be "processed". So we needed a freezer for our 20 chickens. So we'll have 20 free-range, healthy, fresh birds by the first week of October. I said from the start that I would not be a part of the processing. My husband and his friend think they're going to kill, pluck, and process 60 birds in a day. Yeck. I'm calling around today to see if we can pay someone to do it. So far, all they've come up with is cow, pig, and deer processing. No one likes to do chickens. I've been told that's because you can't get the ammonia smell of their shit off your hands for a week after processing. Not for me, thank you.
I'm also squeamish about cooking these birds. I was a vegetarian for nearly 8 years before eating meat again. And the meat I eat is fairly straight forward. I don't deal with bones because they make me sick. I buy chicken breasts, ground turkey, and fancy chicken sausages. That's about the extent of it. The Polack in me loves some kielbasa now and then (and I know that's full of nasty things), but at least that doesn't have bones to contend with.
I hate Thanksgiving turkey only because of having to stick my arm inside the carcass to get out the plastic bag of goodies, and that vile neck. SHUDDER! And I've accidently cooked that plastic bag of goodies inside the turkey countless times.
And I ALWAYS wear latex gloves when flipping a bone-bird around. Oh dear. I better get a little tougher. 20 damn chickens.

The egg-layers come in at the end of this week.

Little E has been taken to the library with a friend and their son. How nice. I've cleaned my house, made apple walnut scones and wasted time on the internet.

There's a Birth Network conference Friday I plan on attending. Will be a long day, but I'm looking forward to it. I'm on call to help a friend for her 2 clients, but only for the weekend. Hopefully that won't get in the way of the conference. I'm all about talking birth all day while munching on free bagels and coffee.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Produce and a Birth




This is a proud picture of the produce I received yesterday from Door to Door Organics.
The bell rang, I opened the door, and there was this smiley guy with a big box. Wow.
I put the food all over the floor and took a picture like I told my sister I would do so that she could check it out before we ate it.
I opted for the Large mixed box and this week I received:
green leaf lettuce, 5 artichokes, 5 radishes, a pineapple, 8 plums, 2 kiwis, 5 huge Yukon gold potatoes, a bunch of mushrooms, bunch of carrots, celery, 2 limes, a bag of grapes, a bunch of beets, 3 huge Valencia oranges,a bunch of bananas, 4 red pears, 6 roma tomatoes (which is hilarious since we've had about 300 grow in our own garden in the last 2 weeks!) and I think that's it. That was $55, all organic and delivered.

I'm not sure how I feel about the price because I normally don't buy all organic and I'm not very good at budgeting. The hopes of participating with this company is that we will eat better and with a better variety. I like the amount of fruit especially, because the kids and G eat a lot of it IF tightwad Me actually buys it.
I opted for bi-weekly, because I'm tight and I'm pretty good about not spending a ton of money on food when grocery shopping.
The other guilt I have about buying this produce is that it is not locally grown and it has to travel a long way to get to me. This company buys the best priced, freshest organics and then distributes it to their members. Obviously, pineapple and kiwis grow nowhere NEAR south-eastern Michigan. But neither do the cheap, mealy apples and bananas I buy at Krogers.

The other news is that my primip who was 2 weeks late had her baby Tuesday morning via hospital induction. We went in for a biophysical profile Monday afternoon, and while the baby's heart tones and variability were gorgeous, the amniotic fluid levels were low~ half of what they should be at 42 weeks, or so they said.
The staff were really great and accommodating to us all, and very respectful of a planned home birth and my client's desire for a natural birth. They didn't try to scare her of fetal demise (did say it was a possibility of course, but that it's ALWAYS a possibility when pregnant, just a percent or two higher chance), and told her she could go home and wait for labor to commence or stay for an induction. She and her husband decided for an induction at the hospital and so we stayed.
We were treated fabulously for what its worth. The L&D nurse was in midwifery school and very anti-doctor. She was such a character and hooked us UP! She fed my client dinner before starting the induction because she feels women should be nourished before birth! What a concept, I know.
She changed our room to one with a tub, and she generally advised us not to be afraid of the doctors, to be advocates for ourselves and to always ask for a second opinion if we didn't like what they were telling us. She also picked my brain about homebirth and talked about how independent midwives were so great. This woman really helped us get a wonderful hospital birth.
One of my preceptors used to talk about some women needing "just a whiff of pit" to get going. Being a CPM, I obviously can't give people a whiff of Pit! Nor would I want to at home. That's definitely something that needs to be monitored for induction.
But it was true to form with this woman. She started getting contractions pretty soon after and just rocked through the night, laboring the hardest parts in a huge tub of water. It's a shame they don't do births in the tub. She got out to push and only pushed an hour or a little less perhaps. Baby was born around 5am, healthy and lovely. There was no vernix on him, but he certainly didn't look post-mature. His skin was lovely, his nails fine, a ton of lanugo all over his back and shoulders.

Sigh. A lovely birth. I'm grateful for the good treatment she received. Nobody accused her of not having prenatal care despite her midwife being there. (see the abruptio placenta post for more on that topic). She'll be coming home this afternoon. I'll be doing a postpartum visit this evening.
Now I have none of my own clients due until January, and then I'm really busy again. I am helping another midwife in October and another in November.
I'm looking forward to a break and I'm happy this woman had her healthy baby, even if not at home. I was beginning to get incredibly obsessive over due date formulas and natural forms of induction. (They did try one day of herbal induction, but then the partner got freaked out about it after reading something on the internet about the herbs, so then stopped despite her getting contractions.)

I'm ready to go for a beer at the brewery without obsessing over if my cell phone rang and I just didn't hear it.

Saturday, September 08, 2007

Checklist

Have a lovely 8 year old's Little House on the Prairie party with no fights, burnt hot dogs, bee stings, or duplicate presents. CHECK

Start the first day of school with minimal melt downs about not being able to wear cute wool mini skirt with cardigan on first day because it's 90 degrees out. CHECK

Start new car pool with another kid (I get mornings, her mom gets afternoons) and arrive ON TIME both days this week. Woo hoo! CHECK

Write one of 3 articles I need to get out before The Birth Project's deadline (September 15, you birth writers) CHECK

Back out of insane business proposal. (Well not necessarily insane, just not funded) CHECK

Clean closets and get rid of two big bags of clothes. Realize I don't have any clothes to wear this winter but stop myself from buying new clothes(this week) CHECK

Signed up for Door-to-Door Organics to be dropped at our house bi-weekly. Hope we will actually prepare/eat the stuff. CHECK

Waiting, waiting, waiting for a primip to go into labor. PLEASE go into labor and have a wonderful labor and healthy, lovely birth! Her baby's head is soooo low, it's about a 3 inches in her vagina, I swear. Good vibes and prayers towards that please.
I'm getting gray hairs waiting for her, poor thing. I would love to put a CHECK here.

Good night!

 
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