Happy Anxious Birthday

My husband woke me up this morning to tell me Happy Birthday. Very sweet. I was dreaming and felt very disconcerted. My dream was that I had been up all night with a woman in labor, who even began to push, but then her labor completely stopped. Her house was a huge mess and I kept flinging piles of dirty socks and toys and dirty plates off of me as I sat on her floor. She turned to me and said she was taking this break in contractions and that I could go home, she'd call me when things picked up again.
So I left and stopped by my daughter's school feeling hectic because I was really late picking her up. Then I got mad because the teacher said S was staying late with some other kids and I could come back in 2 hours.
I came home and realized I had a vial of frozen sperm in my freezer and I was trying to make a kit so my neighbor who wants a baby could have it. I was wondering if she'd want me to insert it, or if that would be too weird.
Also at home my dad called me and asked me to come over and help paint his living room. I agreed and started getting little E ready for the drive out there, thinking G could get S from school. Then my MIL came in all happy, telling us she wanted to go shopping, but first a cup of tea since she was tired from the long drive here.
I felt completely overwhelmed. I tried to tell my MIL that I needed to help my dad paint and she didn't look happy. She wanted to surprise us with a visit. I was trying to think how I could make everyone happy, that I didn't want to disappoint ANYONE.
Not to mention, I felt the heaviness of waiting for someone's labor to pick up again.

Damn, have I got issues OR WHAT?

SO I'm trying to let it go, relax. Enjoy my day. I have two postpartum visits this morning. S has dance at 6 and G wants to take me out for a beer after that.

I want to climb back into my bed with a book and hide from the world today. So not like me.

On a good note, yesterday my dad took my sister, myself and the kids out for breakfast. And then for dinner, me, G and the kids ate at my favorite Indian restaurant (for a lot of money which is causing my guilty buyer's remorse this morning). It was fabulous though and we had such a good time.

I'm off now. I need to shower and to wake up the kids to take S to school, etc. And I'm getting off to a late by 15 minutes start.


I'm unable to shake it. I feel stressed about money, things I should be doing, things people are expecting me to do, etc.