Warning: extreme pissiness follows

Wow, it's Friday again. A crazy week. I've been studying a lot. My NARM skills exam was supposed to be Monday the 6th. I wasn't going to say anything to anyone (as best as my big mouth could), because I have insane test anxiety. Seriously voices in my head shouting: You are SO STUPID! You don't know this stuff! You're such a LOSER! Never, babe. Not YOU, ever...
grrr. It makes me so angry. I want to stuff a sock into whatever mouth thats coming from.

It's horrible. I've come to the conclusion that I just need to pray about this. Keep the doubt from my brain long enough for me to amble through birth scenarios. At any rate, the test has been postponed til the 13th because for the lack of an available baby model. You're supposed to have a baby there 6 weeks or younger. The midwife (3.5 hours from me) volunteered to have both mom and baby models. We received permission from NARM to make it the following week. Funny enough, the model baby is yet to be born! What a concept! The evaluator is waiting on 3 babies at this point! So the likelihood of her being at a birth that day is high too. Sheesh, asking midwives to plan something together is a monumental task. Either someone is at a birth, or is incredibly on call or is sleeping/recovering.

I am happy for the postponement not to put the test off (I'd just assume get through this step instead of anticipating another week of the "voices"!), but rather because I figured out a few days ago that my first period post-IUD insertion was due to hit on the 6th. From what I'm told, I'm to expect heavy, heavy bleeding and hardcore cramping for the first 3-4 months. Yeah, like I needed to add hemorrhaging, insane hormones and cramping to my already rattled self on a big NARM day. Blech. I just assume stay in bed all day. (HA!)

Oh, and in other IUD-related news: the new thrill of: "Sweetheart, you needn't pull out" has landed me with a lovely yeast infection. I forgot about this.Sperm is so alkaline and I teeter on the edge of yeast so easily that, wouldn't you know it, the day after Halloween(!) I woke to a yeast infection.
How unfair! How am I supposed to stay away from that orange plastic pumpkin full of chocolate? Plain organic yogurt and probiotics or a cup of hot coffee with a couple of miniature Reese's Peanutbutter Cups? I think the answer is clear (and it does not contain acidophilus).

I nearly ate my own head thanks to working with my senior guy last night. He had me programming his new DVD-VCR recorder/player for 4.5 hours! And he kept hitting buttons at random and locking the damn thing up and then yelling at me for unplugging the machine to restart the whole shebang. He made me call the CABLE COMPANY 3 frickin' times to ask them how to work his SONY player. I was so embarassed. Of course the cable company is like: Um, that's not our machine, mam. We couldn't tell you how it works. And then I'd say softly to them (because my client is very hard of hearing), Yeah, I know. I'm working for a senior client who insisted on my calling you. Thanks for your time.
At one point, while I was in the middle of another cable call where I was actually getting a useful code for this machine's installation, I yelled at my guy. I said (just as I would yell at my kids, I swear): Wait! Mr. X- DO NOT PRESS ANY MORE BUTTONS! DON'T TOUCH! I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF SET-UP AND I NEED TO SPEAK TO THIS WOMAN ON THE PHONE TO HELP ME.
He got sulky and pissy and wheeled himself to his table where he read a stack of Enquirers for the next 45 minutes, not talking to me.
Bloody hell. If its not my kids, it's my husband. If it's not my husband, it's these seniors.
Strange what roles life hands you.

By the time I left I was ready for a stiff drink and resuming smoking long enough to have one cigarette.

Add to this, stress about getting an O2 tank of my own in the next week or two(ahem $300).
Getting 2 payments from midwifery client next week that I really, really need.
I need to send lots of pics (finally ordered, printed and received) to all of Greg's family in England, complete with thank you cards for a year's worth of stuff they send our kids. (I'm so pathetic this way. A thank you card every fall and a Christmas card at winter. Oh well. I'm busy and postage is expensive. I'm doing my best, people.)

Off to hopefully do something relaxing yet productive. Have no idea what we're having for dinner and I could care less. But I know if I don't figure this out soon, we'll be buying take out food we cannot afford.