Anxiety: Placentas and Swim Trip While Menstruating

Ooo, yummy.
Yesterday I attended a workshop on 3rd Stage and Placentas, taught by Jennifer Williams, CPM. The Indiana midwife prosecuted for practicing midwifery. For a felon (tee hee), she was very sweet and certainly knowledgeable. She's caught over 1300 babies in the past 19 years. Indiana is currently working very hard to change their legislation regarding midwifery. But going from it being a felony to it being LEGAL is a huge uphill battle.

At any rate, the workshop was good. It was made more interesting by Jennifer and others in the class sharing stories about crazy placentas, scary hemorrhages, etc. I was very pleased with it all and was grateful for the mental stimulation of having 8 hours to talk shop.
However, I woke at 4:15 this morning completely awash with adrenalin.
Thoughts ran along the lines of placental abnormalities, surprise footling breeches, vasa previa (a rare placental issue where the vessels run through the membranes)~ which you usually can't predict, hemorrhages, and more things midwives don't want to see but have to know how to deal with. I could not shake the scary images and thoughts. I tried reading. I prayed to help me center myself and have peace of mind. That worked a bit, but I still couldn't fall asleep again.
So up, up with myself.
Made S lunch, unloaded the dishwasher, put things in the mailbox, straightened my business records and receipts.
Got Greg off to work.

Feeling much better now, but would love to have all day to dig into my textbooks (have taken a vacation from them since mad NARM studying for exams)and just read.

This is the first week of my not working for Mr. Senior Guy anymore. Some of my anxiety was about wondering if that was the right decision. How will we make our bills? I need to get more clients. What if my car blows up? E.T.C!

But I am very much looking forward to actually being home with G and the kids in the evening. How nice!! (However, I'm sure there will be nights when I would be happy to leave, even if it's only to wheel an old guy through Home Depot looking at everything and buying nothing.)
And this is S's last week of school. Half day Wednesday, then done.
I get to do Good Mom Things, like come to the ice cream social tonight. And be a driver for the swim trip tomorrow.

Ooo, the swim trip. It was supposed to be last week but was canceled because it was too cold. Now my period started and I'm having ANXIETY over this too! (I only volunteered to be a driver/chaperone because I knew my period wasn't due for another week originally.)
I can't remember the last time I had to deal with menstrual blood and a swim suit. I was probably 13 or so.
I was sitting with G on the couch last night, lamenting of the inevitable stress of swimming in public with a lot of other parents, kids, and teenage life guards while on my period. I'll be imagining that I'll have diluted-by-wet-swimsuit blood trickling down my inner thighs every 30 seconds and that I'll be a victim of the dreaded Tampon String Hanging Out of Swimsuit Bottom.
Add to that being generally bloated and my belly looking like my 3 year olds potato-shaped abdomen. (Which is really cute on a toddler but not so on a 30 something woman.)

I'm off to shower now before the kids get up. They're filthy from last night's playing at the Brewery's beer garden while we had beer and pizza with friends and their kids. We got home right around bedtime so I just put them to bed dirty.
Ooo, now bad mom anxiety.

Stupid hormones.