more NARM obsessing

Today I'm to meet with one of the midwives at a notary to have her signature in my portfolio, well, notarized. I dug out my portfolio after tucking it away for a month. I really don't need a whole lot. And for some reason, the whole thing makes me nervous. Like when I'm afraid to check my online banking. "Shit! Either I'll be pleasantly surprised or I'll have to run to the bathroom for stress vomit!" Exactly the same feeling.
Like I have typed in my user name, my password and the mouse is lingering over the submit button.
(for those of you who have excellent banking skills and/or sufficient funds all of the time, you might not know about this anxiety. i'm good friends with this)
The NARM stuff is the same for me. All I have to do is submit it, really. And then take the skills exam and written exam.
I'm more nervous about the skills exam. I hate acting things out. Even simple stuff like aseptic technique and hand washing. Probably only because I'd hate to not pass a test because I left out some dumb detail like forgetting to turn off the tap with a clean cloth in my hand. It's those details that make me batty.

At any rate, here's a list of what I need to do yet:

Obtain $700 in certified check or money order form
Fill the 3 pages of the general application form (not a big deal, but I keep putting it off)
2 copies of legal photo ID
2 copies of my CPR and Neonatal Resuscitation certificates
4 passport photos (with signature on the back)
Send out my 3 reference letters (one past client, one a friend, one a professional~ have no idea who to use for a "professional")
Notarize each of the 3 midwives signatures

Like, that's nothing, right? Everything else is done.
Take skills exam. Pass.
Send in the other $700 and take written exam. Pass.

Have a celebratory raspberry lambic and a really good meal.

Here's a silly confession:
The other night around midnight Agnes needed to go outside. So I let her out and went into the back room to check emails while I waited for her to her business. I got an advertisement email from Vista Print (place to get free, nice-looking business cards~ you only pay shipping). So I go to their website and I'm browse through their card selection. I picked one out. you can type your info on the card and actually see how it looks as you type it in. So, I write: Me Blah Blah, CPM and doula.....and then the rest of my info. I was really pleased with the way it all looked. But I figured that would be some bad mojo should I order CPM cards prematurely. I felt like such a dork, grinning big at the three little letters after my name. Letters that aren't even there yet. It' s kind of like the daffy young girl who practices writing her not-yet new last name before she gets married. Mrs. Blah Blah surrounded by hearts and flowers. Just for the record, I never did that, you know.

Okay, I'm going to use this Eamon nap time to fill in my 3 page general application.