My baby turned 4 this week

Little E was born on July 2, four years ago. Sigh.
He's still my little Little.

He's sweet and funny. He's kind to his sister and most of the time, his friends (he's 4, they don't hide their frustration or impatience all that well).
His big sister had just turned four when I got pregnant with E.
So the question the past few weeks has been, should we do it one more time?
It doesn't help that I'll be turning 35 in a few months and I'm having my own mortality checks with that. Squeeze in one more baby, or call it quits and enjoy these bigger, more independent children?

I'm constantly torn between falling in love with a newborn (I get to see a lot of pregnant moms and new babies), and then doing a 2 week postpartum visit and being reminded of how challenging it is to have a new baby.
I get my fill of sleepless nights as a midwife. It's so nice to be able to come home and sleep, uninterrupted. To not have to pump breast milk half-way through someone's labor and continually worry if my baby at home has enough milk to see him through. Those were fun days, but I'm glad they're over.

But being pregnant is sweet. Giving birth is lovely. Newborns smell so good!

Another admission of mortality-check, must-raise-something-new guilt: I've been to the humane society at least 3-4 times in the last month, hankering over dogs that need a home.

I'm so transparent.

In other news, everyone that was due to have babies in June and July have done so!
Attended a lot of nice births, including two VBAC moms who had vaginal births. One of them having had two previous cesareans, had an amazing primal birth where she just went to Laborland and let everything come and go and pushed her baby out seemingly effortlessly.

So now I have at least 2 weeks completely off-call from births! This is wonderful! It happens twice a year or so. We're fairly broke but that's okay.
We're equipped with a productive garden and a city pool pass.

Note to Mo: will do your meme soon! I never have time to blog anymore!