Have You Seen ME?

Lord knows I haven't.
Either I've got too much going on or I'm having early-onset dementia.
Last Thursday was a beautiful day. We had friends over for lunch, and then E and I played in the yard, I cut the grass and he rode his bike. About an hour after we came in, I realized that I FORGOT TO TAKE HIM TO PRESCHOOL! How did that happen?
Well no biggie, we had fun outside in the sun.
The weekend blurred past and Monday came. We handed in S's state brochure she worked on for class, had a really nice lunch packed, had a good day.I gave a talk to a classroom of anthropology students about lay midwifery in the US. I was nervous but went into Me Mode, which includes laughing, swearing and lots of hand gestures. Then I met another midwife for tea and very serious talking that left my brain buzzing for the remainder of the day. Once home I did lots of laundry and then buzzed around making dinner, because S has dance class at 6 on Monday nights. Even she asked if it was dance class night. Yup. I made a delicious dinner, we played, did puzzles, discussed Halloween costumes, and I caught up on a bunch of phone with clients and consults.
G came home with 2 more chickens for me to skin and quarter and before you knew it, we were all falling into bed.
This morning I woke up and said: Holy shit! S we never took you to dance class last night!
She had forgotten too and we laughed about it and said Oh Well. We had a nice evening together, S, E and I.

Today I got S off to school on time. Came home, made E breakfast and strained cooked chicken carcass out of the stock pot to collect lots of chicken stock for future soups. Feeling very Pioneer Woman Resourceful, I got E dressed and ready and headed towards his neurologist's office.
Little E has been having a LOT more seizures lately, combined with apneic episodes where his eyes roll back, he inhales and doesn't exhale. At least not until he falls to the ground and wakes up with another knock on his head. He's also been having apneic episodes at bedtime, just as he drifts off to sleep.
The neurologist wrote us a new prescription for the same meds, higher dose. Had no answers to my questions because no one seems to understand our crazy, mysterious brains. I get that there are no answers, but it's very frustrating.
You get a pat on the back, a new script and the line: Let's keep hoping he'll grow out of it!
Bloody hell.

In the neurology office my cell rang but I didn't answer it. It was another midwife. Once in the car I checked my voicemail and heard that a client of hers that I'm also supposed to be attending has been having contractions since 3am, and having diarrhea too. She's 3 weeks early, but that's ok. I immediately think about child care, getting E's prescriptions filled, getting E to school today, and making 17 pumpkin muffins for S's halloween party tomorrow at school.

At home I make E and I lunch but he doesn't want it. I'm feeling so down about all this seizure disorder stuff that I allow him to eat half of a huge Butterfinger candy bar. What the hell, right? This sweet boy who has to chug down very vile medicine twice a day and still falls down at random, wherever his brain lets him down. Eat that Butterfinger, my angel.

E goes upstairs to visit my mom. I check emails, lose track of time and grab him up to take him to school, feeling nearly late as usual. He cries for my mom to come with us, so she does. I run him into preschool and see all the other kids wearing costumes. Little E is looking at everyone a little perplexed. I just close my eyes and mutter, Shit.
How could I forget to bring his costume? Of course this is the day they'd have their little party! (They only have preschool on Tuesdays and Thursdays!) E doesn't seem to mind that he'd wearing his stripey turtle neck and gray pants and everyone else looks like Ninja Turtles, Disney princesses, bugs, pirates, etc.
The teachers looked at my funny. I felt like I was going to cry.
I wanted to tell them: No, we are NOT Jehovah's Witnesses. I'm just a shitty mom.

What the heck is wrong with me? My life seems to be plastered with little sticky notes reminding me of all I need to do. And still I forget these details.

Okay, enough of me. I've spent more time blogging/whining when I should have been making those damn pumpkin muffins.